What I learned about life from Audrey Hepburn

TOP 25 QUOTES BY AUDREY HEPBURN (of 178) | A-Z Quotes

Although Audrey Hepburn is famous for her iconic look and fashion sense, what I have learned to love and appreciate about her is that she had this unflappable ability to stay true to herself, and to be ok with making choices that might not always line up with what society feels she should do. She left Hollywood at the height of her career to spend time with her family. She knew what was important, and the spotlight wasn’t cathartic to her.

She knew what she had to do to find happiness, and while she struggled in some areas of her life, she always found a way through it. In the end, she learned to find happiness in all areas of her life, by starting with herself.

I have struggled over the last few years to find my footing. It is ingrained in myself and most women that we put others ahead of ourselves, and that we need to have the perfect kitchen, the perfect meals, the perfect bodies, the perfect kids, and the perfect life. However, that isn’t what life is about! I have spent far too much time, trying to appeal to those outside of my home. Why? Does it matter what others think of me? Do those people ever set foot in my house? Is having the perfect bikini body worth 10 months of starving myself, just to hear the words “wow , you look great”? No, it really doesn’t matter. It is time that we do things to make ourselves feel good on the inside. If having a clean house makes you feel good, then clean it! But do it for you!

I often run myself ragged trying to have everything perfect. Will my kids remember the clean house and mom saying no to playing with them? Or will my kids remember a house that was lived in, and mom chased them around the mess trying to tickle them? Which leads me to this quote from Audrey:

“There is one difference between a long life and a great dinner; in the dinner, the sweet things come last.”

~Audrey Hepburn~
Photo by Elina Sazonova on Pexels.com

This quote stopped me in my tracks. The sweet things in life are happening all around us, each and every day. We have to start being more present, and start noticing and appreciating the things we have in our life NOW, not yesterday and not tomorrow. NOW. I often read books from Deepak Chopra, and the one thing I have learned to do to be more present is to stop, bring awareness to my beating heart, and start to listen to all the sounds that are occurring around me. Open your eyes to all the things happening, like the trees swaying in the breeze, the bird flying by, and to see the life that is happening right now in front of you. You don’t want to reach the end of your life, and look back and realize that the entire time, you had everything you were searching for but you were blind to it all.

” I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.”

~Audrey Hepburn~
Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

I have learned recently that I have a need to have moments of solitude. I have been feeling guilty about this feeling for a while. During this pandemic and subsequent lock-downs, I have not been able to work and my girls are being home schooled. This has left very little opportunity for me to take time for myself. With my health, I haven’t wanted to go out to any stores, and have tried to limit my social contacts with those outside of the home, so I do feel that it has impacted my health in some ways. The guilt comes out of feeling that I should have more gratitude for being given all this extra time to see my kids, and for having a roof over my head, and food in my belly. The guilt comes because for some reason, I haven’t felt like I was allowed to have this time. However, the more I spread myself thin, the more cranky I was getting. The more days that passed where I didn’t allow myself time to meditate, read, write, do yoga, or do things to advance my own health, I felt more sick, more unbalanced, more rage. Yes I said rage. I found myself being short and curt with my kids. I found myself irritated with my husband, and irritated with life around me in general. I was more pessimistic, more angry, more unhappy. When I heard this quote from Audrey, I felt validation. I felt that it was OK to need time alone. When she said that time alone was how she refueled, I felt this light go on inside me. That is how I felt. She wasn’t afraid to say she needed time. Why was I so afraid to ask for time? Why was I so afraid to admit that I need that time too? Why did it take me so long to realize that I needed to refuel. I created a space in my house to do that, and I wasn’t using it. I realized, that I needed to take this time, so I could be a better mom, a better wife, a better version of me. I needed to refuel my soul.

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone”

~Audrey Hepburn ~

The way to true beauty, is through kindness, and seeing the best in people. It is time we start talking about the good we see in people, instead of the bad. It is time that we see beauty as more than just the shell that holds all of our souls. With so much bad going on around us, we have forgotten that there is still a lot of great things going on. Audrey lived through the war, and waiting on the other side was humanity wanting to help and fix all the bad that had occurred. We will get through this pandemic. There is a lot of good waiting for us on the other side of this. This pandemic has taught me to value those in my life, and to return life to the simple basics. Sit and talk with someone you love, hug someone you love, play with someone you love, and listen to someone you love. That is all we crave isn’t it?

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

“As you grow older you will discover you have two hands. One for helping yourself, and one for helping others”

~Audrey Hepburn~

I have had the need and desire to help people my whole life, and since being removed from paramedic I have struggled to find a way to fill that void that was created. The void wasn’t the job, the void was in no longer having a job where I was helping people everyday. However, I don’t need a job to do that. I am learning that now. I can help someone every day with a kind word. I can help some one every day with a kind gesture. I can help someone every day by checking in with them. Everyone in this world is going through something. Everyone in this world has a hidden feeling. It is hard to reject and ignore an act of kindness when it is given to you, it only spreads goodness. If we all were to just check in with someone today, can you imagine the ripple that one act would create?

Photo by Ioana Motoc on Pexels.com

“When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that’s when I think life is over”

~Audrey Hepburn~

I leave you with this one final quote. Take a moment to process this. Solitude is different than loneliness. We all need to feel purpose. We all need to have a reason for living. The relationships in your life will formulate the type of path you will take. We all need to have someone to love, and to love us. Invest in the right people, and they will invest in you. Find those people that will make you a cup of tea every day. Find someone that needs you. Make life need you as much as you need life. Audrey made life work for her. She did things that made her happy, and didn’t conform to others ideals. Don’t conform to societal ideals, find your own life. There is no wrong path if it makes you happy.

How to Embrace the Art of Saggy Boobs

How to Embrace the Art of Saggy Boobs

Getting to the point that you are ok with your boobs lustrously presenting themselves just a few inches above your belly button,  and not caring,  is a skill not easily acquired.  It takes practice, and years of impatience and uncomfortableness, to allow yourself such a pleasure. It also takes years of learning how not to give a shit and rocking the body that you were gloriously given. 

So, if you are reading this, you might be thinking , “ who in their right mind would ever want to condone, let alone accept that their boobs  now stare out at other people’s mid-section”.  And, who in the world wouldn’t want big perky ones, that look like they have their own drill sergeant, telling them to stand at attention? Am I right?  Well to understand this, we have to take it back to the beginning.  I am sure that my truth is probably the same as most of all the other women truths out there, when it come to the battle of the boobs. 

Puberty

There came a day when every girl looked down their shirt, and either gasped in horror, or squealed in delight at the little increase that came out of no-where.  I was one of the ones that gasped in horror.  Mainly, because my brothers had taken to a fun little game where they would snap the back of my bra.  Or even worse, the fact that my training bra became a hot topic of conversation, over my captain crunch cereal in the morning.   It got so bad, I stopped wearing a bra. Instead I just shoved it into my backpack or jacket pocket, and changed into it when I got to school; just to do the same before I got home from school.   It was easier.  

Boobs were embarrassing. To make it even better, our school had white gym shirts, so it’s not like you could get away without wearing a bra when you were in gym class. 

Now, I’ll just skip over the whole teenage portion of boobs, because, well, you either had big ones and spent all your time wishing they were small, or you had small ones and wished they were big.  You were either mortified to go bra shopping with your parents, or you collected ‘Victoria Secret’s’ latest and greatest push-up bra, to push up the already perfect boobs that were in play. 

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

Your glorious 20’s

The reality is, it is somewhere in your twenties when you realize that all bras suck.  This is after spending hundreds of dollars on the bras that promise the biggest rewards, and after you had built up your bra portfolio to cover ever angle possible.  Pushed up to your chin,  check, cleavage as deep as it gets, check,  no spillage, check, bra that does up forty different ways that you’ll never put on again after you get it home from the store, check, underwire, check, no underwire, check,  does up at the front, check, does up at the back with 50 clasp, check, doesn’t do up at all but you have to squeeze your head an arms through impossibly small holes, check and check, super sexy, check, bras for the gym that no boy should ever see, check, bra that protects you from bear attacks, check, bra that acts as a life preserver, check, bra that feeds you candy, check.  Ok, so maybe not the candy part, but I would have owned 10 of those for sure!  I am pretty sure on top of the wide range of bras, you ended up buying them in every color of the rainbow too. You know, just in case you happened to wear that one dress, that you haven’t fit into since the beginning of time, that you may need that one perfect bra for, in case they suddenly discontinued Doritos for all time, and you can finally shed those pounds. 

Raging 30’s

You know, so now you are in your late twenties, or early thirties. You own a closet that you had to hire a professional closet designer to come in and personally build you a brassiere compartment with rotating mannequins to display all the hyper functions they all have, so that you can remember what the hell you bought that brown bra with 50 clasps at the back for. 

Photo by Henry & Co. on Pexels.com

Then you find out your pregnant.  All is wonderful, until your boobs big or small, start to swell up to the size of that watermelon that girl named baby carried in Dirty Dancing.  You know the famous line,  “ I carried a watermelon” .  Yeah, well now you are carrying two of those damn things ‘baby’.  So, you trek your ass to the maternity store and take a look at what you are about to replace your rotating mannequins with.  Pregnancy bras.  

All your hard-earned work and money, and you are about to realize that pregnancy bras are perhaps the ugliest,  yet most comfortable things you have ever experienced in your life.  Seriously teens, go get yourself some maternity bras now.  Heaven sent.  Super ugly though. You mannequins will also breathe a sigh of relief, trust me.  

Truth check

The reality is, you buy nice bras so that your ‘partner’ can enjoy them.  You never really enjoy them do you?   Can you honestly say that underwire is fun?  Or that when the underwire pokes its stupid head out of a hole in your bra and jabs you in the ribs over and over all day that it’s enjoyable?    Oh, and how about when your washing machine loses one of the nipple inserts that you have in your bra, and you take your bra out and you have to decide if you can get away with wearing one side insert in, and one side insert out?  Oh, and if you do happen to find the insert, taking 5 days to try and insert that thing back into that microscopic slit they leave for you? And if you are lucky enough to get it in after 5 days, it ends up folded over. Have fun wearing that over your nipple.  I still do not understand the bra doing up in the back either, and having to learn to be a damn magician to put it on without looking at the clasp. You may say, well you could put it on in the front and rotate it around, but all that does is invite chafing, I’ll pass. 

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Post Birth Bliss

After you make it through the breastfeeding ( I will honor the tradition of hiding the small horrors of it from the unsuspecting mothers, in the name of knowing it provided my children with life and nutrients and I would do it again, I think), your boobs will never be the same.  You will now spend the next 5-10 years, yes I said it, wearing your maternity bras and dreading the return to the millions of dollars in bras you have stashed away in a box now in the basement of your home.  Your partner will beg you to get rid of the tattered, one clasp bras that you cling too.  White, no longer white, but a dull grey color.  Some, with no discernable color, except for the stains of life on them.  You honestly are even grossed out by how gross these things are, but damn it,  they are comfy.   

When you finally decide to throw them out, you will discover that the ones you saved for after the baby no longer fit.  That’s right.   1 million dollars in bras, gone. Forever.   You will also discover that your boobs don’t even fit the sizes they sell anymore.  Seriously.  38 D Nope Too small.  40 D Nope too big. DD? DDD? C? B? Does it matter?   All I know, Is that I put a new bra on,  and in one size I feel like my brain is going to pop out of my head from how tight the bra is, and the next one, I look like the flying nun with the hat with the big flaps on the side, except her hat looks like it is on my boobs.  Attractive.  Underwire, I don’t even know why they sell those for women who are 40 years and up.  They are not comfortable.  Like not even remotely. My boobs suffocate in them. I end up with indents in my skin that become a permanent wrinkle as a result of how deep these things cut. Sports bras don’t support anything.  I know, I have done the bounce test in a million of these things. I may as well wear cellophane. So,  what’s your option?  That’s right, I say let them swing.  Embrace it and enjoy it.  Why is it that we have to put them away?  They provided life to most of us on this planet!  I think that in itself, deserves the reward of being free.  Honestly, I feel like my boobs were given a 30- year prison sentence that has just been commuted.  They are walking out of that jail free!   

And I tell ya, they are going to live it up!  

Set them free

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

If you want to wear a bra, GREAT! If not, then DON’T!  If they sag, that means you have earned that privilege of aging, and aging in itself is a blessing.  It also might mean, that you fed your children and provided life to them, again, a blessing.  Either way, those boobs have hung around with you since puberty, and they have done everything you have asked of them.  So, if they are asking for a break now, we should be allowed to do that for them. If you think someone won’t like you because they have to look at your stomach to see your boobs, move on.  There is more to life than caring what someone thinks of you, because of what they view as an imperfection.  Nothing is imperfect about a saggy boob, it’s actually in it’s most perfect form.  It’s time women start to be proud of what they were given, what their body has been through, and how far it will continue to take us.  Saggy or perky, who cares. There are many women out there who have had breast cancer, with or without a mastectomy,  and I am sure they wouldn’t give two damns if they had saggy boobs or not. They would choose life every single time. That is all that matters. So, I’ll take a healthy body, a sound mind, and self-love along with my saggy boobs too thanks.   

First guest blog spot on “Bluntmoms.com”!

First guest blog spot on “Bluntmoms.com”!

Hi everyone, I am super excited to announce that I have my first guest blog spot on the @Bluntmoms.com website!! Please pop on over to this amazing website and check out my post on “Those A@@hole Toilet Paper Rolls”. https://bluntmoms.com/those-ahole-toilet-paper-rolls/